Who Can Compliment Authors’ Babies on Amazon

Such an angry baby

Nothing hurts more or feels better than reviews on your written work. But it seems hard to get reviews when authors are just starting out.

Let’s say you go into a grocery store with your baby and:

Your babysitter happens to be shopping as well. She looks over and coos “my, chubby cheeks is looking happy today! So cute!”

An employee glares up from stocking veggies and says “you haven’t spent enough money here to compliment babies.”

A woman compliments your baby from across the store. She hasn’t even seen the child. The manager asks her to leave.

Your spouse walks in, winks, and says “hey, nice baby.”

The managers and employees all gather around and point at your spouse. “No family or friends can compliment babies!”

As your spouse looks on in dismay, a person pushing a cart piled high with fish sticks swerves around the corner, slams into your cart, and makes the baby cry. “Ugly baby. Shouldn’t have been born,” the cart owner growls.

Nobody reacts at first. Then, one by one, everyone at the scene starts to chant “you have to buy the baby before you can review it!”

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